219) People Who Call Champagne "Champers"

Contrary to popular belief, not everything needs a cutesy nickname. Sure, when people are little it's sweet to give them little singsongy nicknames, but they can't last forever. For example, "Paulie-waulie" may make for an adorable six-year-old, but if he's not a plain old Paul by age 12 or so you can pretty much guarantee the dude isn't getting laid, ever.

Sometimes, things are so great that no nickname is required. Shoes are just shoes, not shoesies. Chocolate is just chocolate, not chocowocko. And champagne is just champagne, not "champers." If you aren't mature enough to know that the yummy-tasting bubbly stuff in the skinny glass has a nice proper French name, then you aren't old enough to be drinking it.

Note #1: The only exception to the "It's called Champagne" rule is if you reference this classic SNL sketch with Christopher Walken in it:



Note #2: The other person who runs this blog got all married or whatever this weekend, and while there was champagne served, he is not friends with lame people who mispronounce the name of the magical bubbly candy water and this post wasn't inspired by anyone in particular. So, like, congrats and stuff, dude.