189) Customizable Musical Greeting Cards

The perfect way to tell a loved one, "Loved one, since I'm in one of those places that has no access to telecommunications (probably Neptune), I decided to send along a barely-audible, garbled, three second long recording of my voice followed by one of a dozen or so terribly overplayed songs with lyrics that are generic and non-specific enough in nature so as they prove generally appropriate for any occasion and/or relationship, like 'You'll Be In My Heart', which can be applied to people in one's life as varied as a parent, a spouse, a child, or, in some rare cases, an ape who raised an orphan child as a surrogate parent. Happy (fill in name of occasion) here."


Okay, guess we can include "illiterate British mothers" as worthy recipients as well