After like eight rounds of mind-numbingly easy stuff like "The United States of America," the last mystery words on Wheel of Fortune are always fucking impossible. It's usually something with five or six letters. So Vanna stands there in her damn cocktail dress shaking her head at you because none of the letters you guessed are on the wall, and she gets paid to touch a big light-up screen while the seconds tick out on you and everybody in the audience "awwwws" when she finally reveals the word you didn't get as GLUNK or something and all the assholes at home are like "
EVERYBODY KNEW IT WAS 'GLUNK'! THAT WAS SO OBVIOUS!"
It was not obvious. It was hard on purpose. And then that sadist Pat Sajak always opens up that envelope so you know exactly which super awesome prize you didn't win. And it is always, always the $25,000.
[One of us would also like to note that Wheel of Fortune makes him violently angry and palpably depressed when he accidentally flips through it on TV, because it's a constant reminder that many of the greatest mistakes of the 80s have left permanent, still-bleeding open knife wounds in the flesh of human progress]
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